I went to a lovely writers’ group at the weekend, which offered writers the chance to get ‘positive feedback only.’ You were given the choice to have unfiltered feedback as well.
I understand that many writers offer stuff for comment with their first need and hope being validation. A writer will often float in a place between ‘this thing I wrote has potential’ and ‘this is nowhere like as good as the last book I enjoyed so I am terrible and should give up’. I see the case to be encouraging, always, and particularly for new or nervous writers.
Some people and groups enjoy being destructive. Or they seize on a single point that isn’t perfect and deluge the author with suggestions without giving a balanced view of the whole piece. It has taken me years to explain to my partner that when I ask for feedback, don’t start with the typos. This is unhelpful.
I once had a criticism so obviously and objectively wrong it blocked me for months. And some people may have been unsupported and over-criticised a great deal up until that point. Be gentle it is my first time is ABSOLUTELY fine.
But how kind is it in the long run to give only positive criticism?
Writers’ groups support us through the solitary weirdness of writing, but a primary purpose for most writers showing their work is to help us improve. To do that we need to develop our own dispassionate inner critic. Outside opinions positive and negative help us do that, by us working through how they are right, or not. Someone may struggle on their own for ten years honing their masterpiece in solitary isolation, without getting much better. No feedback – improve – more feedback loop.
Once you do start sending stuff out to be published, you certainly will get critical feedback, sometimes from people with no skin in being friendly about it.
Opinions can be framed positively. Positives can be stated first. A writer’s group should encourage you to keep writing.
But if say the stakes aren’t obvious to you, or if no woman on earth would talk like that, you need to tell the writer that. For their sake.
Feedback should be offered from an empathetic place and a real spirit of seeking to help. It may still sting.
I remember the first criticism I got from my current group. I was cross. I went home, slept on it, reread the offending paragraph, and the feedback I had received was right. So right it was almost unarguable.
Reading other people’s stuff helps. Critiquing other people’s stuff helps. And a first time reading can be really scary, although at the All Good Bookshop Group, we bend over backwards to be un-scary.
So I told this other group, ‘Bring it on’. Because what ever people say, the decision what to do is mine, only mine.
I give positive constructive feedback! Why not check out my services for writers?